International Women’s Day: #ChoosetoChallenge
I distinctly remember where I was, the first time I became acutely aware that I would be treated differently because of my gender. It was Labor Day 1994 and I was headed back home from an awesome weekend “down the shore” with friends. As we crossed the Walt Whitman bridge, my SUV sputtered out and stopped. Once safely on the shoulder, I called my dad and after confirming that we were all indeed okay, he shared, “you have a phone and a AAA card, call if you have any trouble and we’ll see you at the dealer,” before disconnecting.
Approximately an hour later, the tow truck driver arrived and very loudly announced that he can’t tow my SUV because it’s four-wheel drive, chastising me that this was information he needed in order to bring the right tow truck. I politely shared with him that I had told AAA that the SUV had both two wheel drive and four wheel drive and that the optional four wheel drive was currently disengaged.
He proceeded to less politely respond that he was unwilling to take the risk in towing the car and that I was going to have to call AAA and request a new tow truck. I did not want to stand on the Walt Whitman bridge for another hour, so I called my dad and explained the situation. He asked me to pass the phone to the tow truck driver and after a short exchange, the driver handed back the phone, walked away and started hooking up my SUV to the tow truck. My relief was quicky replaced with anger when I asked my dad what he said to the tow truck driver. To my surprise, he had shared the exact same information as I did.
Somewhere on the drive from the Walt Whitman bridge to the car dealership, while in the front seat of a tow truck, I realized that a man’s words would be viewed more credible than mine. It stung, a lot! What I also remember is that my dad never once assumed that I had not given the correct information, he trusted me and my acumen. He was an ally long before I knew what it meant to be an ally.
As I think back, there were other micro moments where I probably should have seen differences, but it wasn’t happening to me, so I wasn’t as tuned in. I should have been.
I noticed it again the first week of graduate school, sitting in the classroom and looking around the room where there were significantly more men than women. My career to that point had centered around staffing and recruiting, an industry where women generally outnumber men. So, although I knew that less women went to business school, it was still striking to see that in person in the classroom. That same year I gained another niece and realized that I wanted her to have a different experience. As she got older, I learned more about the “pink aisle” and suddenly the “fun” aunt role came with a bit more responsibility. I bought her books and toys with strong female characters and wanted to be sure she knew that she could do and be anything.
Two summers ago, my niece called me and wanted to plan a day trip to New York City. I immediately began to see how I could work in a short stop at the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) to see Fearless Girl. To get to the city, we took the ferry across the bay, passing the Statue of Liberty on the way to Battery Park. We spent a few minutes talking about the symbolism. Together, we read Emma Lazrus’ poem, The New Colossus, and I reinforced with my niece how important it is to be inclusive and welcoming. We mused at just how many women must have traveled these waters on their way to greater opportunity. Later that day, as we arrived outside the NYSE and waited to see Fearless Girl, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of a future full of possibilities I see for both my young niece and women everywhere. It will be a day that I remember forever.
As we celebrate this year’s International Women’s Day and I reflect on my NYC experience with my niece, I’m reminded how grateful I am to work for a firm that is focused on inclusion and belonging. The theme, #ChoosetoChallenge, struck a chord with me, as it is about being a much more active and vocal ally. As a proud aunt, I choose to challenge for my nieces so they can fearlessly pursue their dreams and feel valued for their voices. As a leader, I choose to challenge to ensure that I am elevating my crew members’ voices and accomplishments and commit to calling out bias when I see it. Collectively, we each can have a profound impact on creating a more inclusive world. Why do you “ChooseToChallenge”?
-Tamara T.